A Wish for Redemption
by TheSilencedVigor
Summary: Erik returns home a year later after escaping his cage. Leaving his mother a letter explaining why he left and saying his last goodbyes to her or are they his last? KayBased. K for safety. More to come and happy ending! I disclaim everything.


**A/N** **My first fanfic ever and I'm excited and nervous. I hate the lack of redemption fics for Erik and his mother, so I did my own! This hasn't been in beta so I'm sorry for any mistakes. I have always been weird with full stops and commas so let me know if there is typos to fix. Thank you!**

 **Madeline POV**

Erik. How that name use to bring me so many undesired emotions. Frustration, anger, disappointment and the odd sense of surprise, now just despair. A year ago on this day, my life changed forever in ways I could have ever anticipated. A part of me is gone that can't be replaced and with it my will lead any form of a functional life.

I didn't know which shocked me more. The sight that beheld me as I opened the attic door or the onslaught of emotions that racked my mind and soul that I had no idea I possessed. At times I had wished I couldn't feel such things, quickly dismissing these wishes as they are the one thing I have left to remind myself. Everything else is tainted with memories of cruelty and neglect, tainted by me.

One year of sitting and wondering about the impossible what ifs. Maybe If only I had been a fraction kinder I wouldn't be seated in my kitchen tears pouring down my face, a whole years' worth. Thinking about every cruel word and every harsh slap and every lonely hour. We could have cured each other's loneliness from the first day if I only had met him halfway.

"Oh Erik" I but all sobbed. "If you are out there somewhere, please come back to me! I know I don't deserve it, still I beg of you. Not for me, but for you. Even if only for a moment so I can take that mask off your perfect little face and give you the two kisses you so desperately craved"

This was not my first time talking to walls willing them to bring my son back to me. Even if they could why should they? They have seen everything and know exactly what kind of monster lives under this roof and they know that the inhabitant that was called a monster wasn't really that one that dwelled here, that was me. After I finish saying my piece that have I said 365 times since that night, I complete the ritual by listening for faintest sound, anything that might be a sign that my greatest wish might come true.

After 30 seconds the only noise to be heard are that of a desperate women crying out in anger and hate for herself and only herself. Then as I was slowly rising from chair I heard it. The lightest taps from above me. My heart skipped, I had to have imagined the sound, I know it's not my first mirage of my son. However just as I had dismissed it, louder taps could be heard. I raced to the top of stairs and up to the attic door. His door. I hadn't been up here since that morning after the mob and it was found empty.

I slowly drew my breath in and turned the handle slowly. Not knowing if I could handle looking in here again. Now hesitating and trying to come up with reasons for the sounds to avoid having to glance in. NO! This is what I had been dreaming for this whole year and small as the possibility of my son being on the other end was, I needed to take this opportunity for what it was. A near impossible chance of erasing and fixing my wrongdoings… erasing the monster. Not Erik, Me!

I throw the door open with force thinking that I have wasted enough time hesitating. My eyes scan the dark corners and walls of the attic like a hawk, looking for the slightest movement or anything that seemed a little out of place, nothing. I took slow and calculated steps into my son's room. Everything as it was when he left all except for a thick layer of dust. My eyes fell where he would lay and cry himself to sleep. Looking over his artwork I still can't believe how talented and ahead of his age group he was, possibly the most artistically gifted child in the world and it didn't change a thing, I never deserved a son as great as he.

This was not the time to dwell on my mistakes I did not want false hope. I quickly move to his bedside focusing and searching as if my life depended it. I knew where everything was meant to be up here. I took every inch of it in when I closed that door a year ago. Checking over the rest of the room and not finding anything remotely different. My heart now sinking I move onto the other rooms of the house looking for anything resembling change or a clue. Nothing, it takes all of my willpower not cry out as load as a banshee.

Walking back into the kitchen my spirits dashed and my head reeling with the loss of my hope for seeing him here tonight. I plan to return to my room and pray that I might get a moments sleep. Just as I was reaching to extinguish the light I noticed something different, a plain white envelope on the table where I was sitting before.

My heart skipping a beat I dash for it and quickly find the opening. Inside a folded piece of parchment with the words 'Mother' written in a child's hand and money...? I pinch myself before opening it slowly. I can hear my heart in my ears and feel it as rips throughout my chest. I try to steady my heart rate as much as I can before I begin reading.

 **Dear Mother**

I write this letter not knowing if you will drop it in the fire without a second glace, I hope you can spare few minutes. This is the apology and farewell I never got to give one year ago, I would have brought it earlier but much of my time has been occupied this past year. I knew the letter would make a cleaner last memory, I didn't want to come in person, I hate seeing your perfect face become anything but that and I know my presence will disturb it. First I would like to say sorry for all that I have done to you and all the grief you have felt from my existence. In till I was five I never understood the disdain, the hard slaps and cold stairs. Not in till you showed me the monster. I hated everything that day, nothing could have made me feel worse. For I knew the moment I gazed at my own reflection that everything wrong in our little shared life was my fault. I was just fortunate for the life I already lead, I realize that now. I didn't deserve a piano or a dog or even a moment of time from anyone. Then to beg for affection, kisses and smiles, I would have hated me to. I was content in my lonely life in attic with my music and imagination, being in the same house as another person. I would have never had that luxury at the asylum, music and imagination maybe but you wouldn't be downstairs and I would never see you again, my perfect mother. In till I left I couldn't imagine a scarier place to inhabit than an institute full of insane people. That's why you might have been shocked to find me gone that morning, not upset of course, just shocked. I feared for your life! Of what the mob might have done if I stayed any longer. Your birthday was approaching and I had been thinking of the perfect present for you so you wouldn't send me away, in the end I knew that wouldn't be possible and that I leaving would be that perfect gift. I would be giving you your life back and that may have been the only time I had complete joy rushing through my veins. I knew you would cherish my gift and when you thought of me it was with a smile, even if I never got see it, I would cherish that smile. That leads me to this letter. My departure wasn't enough to ease my mind. I have somewhat of a 'job' and I have been saving for the whole year, every little penny I could collect is with you now. It will never repay what you did for me mother but I pray it can help me achieve that smile. Even now I beg for affection, I truly am the worse child to walk this beautiful earth, an ugly smear on the world's prettiest canvas, just like my presence in your life. For that I will always be sorry and hope your perfect life returns you. You deserve the world!

You're Curse

Erik

"Oh Erik, it is you that deserves the world. All these words are lies Erik, I truly broke you my boy, my only son. It is I who needs to beg forgiveness" I say barely above a whisper.

My heart being shredded into a thousand pieces, like I have done to my son since his birth. Grabbing the envelope and its contents, I rush for my room and throw my warmest clothes on. There was a chance, a tiny one but a chance none the less that he was close. Closer then he has been in the last year, I can't waste a single second.

"I will find you my son! If it takes weeks or years I don't care, you're worth it! I understand that now and want nothing more to show you I mean it. I love you Erik! More than anything and I will take that mask off you and fulfil every wish you have ever wanted. Starting with Two Kisses."

With that said I opened the door and never look back.

 **A/N** **Please leave a review if you liked or hated it! I am looking forward to criticism more than praise but will take anything! :P This will 90% have a sequel or at least another chapter. However if people like it I will write more for it and may turn it into a full length fic. Trying to find an audience and hear what people like and don't like. Thanks for reading!**


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